


By Any Other Name

by zerodaryls



Series: Gendery Bendery Good Omens [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Agender Aziraphale (Good Omens), Dialogue Heavy, Gen, Gender Identity, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Genderqueer, He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), Other, Self-Discovery, who am i kidding ALL my fics are dialogue heavy lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:22:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25123867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerodaryls/pseuds/zerodaryls
Summary: An angel considers a name change.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Gendery Bendery Good Omens [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819816
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	By Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second fic in this series, and can stand well enough on its own, but it does reference the [first fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122379) and you might miss a few little things if you haven't read it. Takes place a few days after the previous fic.

“Hello, my name is Zira,” a nervous angel informed the mirror in front of him. “My pronouns are, er… he and him and his and himself.” He shook his head. “Oh, that’s a bit much, isn’t it?” He sighed. “My name is Zira, and I use male pronouns.” A frown. “That’s not quite right. They’re not ‘male’ pronouns simply because they’re most often _used_ by males. When _I_ use them, they’re _agender_ pronouns, aren’t they?” He huffed, then decided to try again. “Hello, my name is Zira. I’m an… an agender, uh, person, and my pronouns are he/him.” He smiled. “Well, that’s a bit better.” Another frown as he turned away and began to fret, “But… Zira… still feels… odd. Perhaps I just need to practice. To get used to it.” He turned back to the mirror, smile plastered on his face. “Hello, there! My name is Zira.” The angel winced. “Zira,” he tried. “I’m… Zira?”

“You are?”

The angel whipped his head around to find Crowley standing across the room, an amused smile on his face. “Oh! Crowley. I… I’ve been playing with the idea of shortening my name.”

Crowley made an “ah” mouth and nodded. “Zira. Huh. How’re you liking it, then?”

The angel frowned and fussed with his hands. “I’m not sure. It’s… Well, after 6,000 years of being ‘Aziraphale’, ‘Zira’ feels quite foreign.”

“I can imagine.”

“How was it for you? When you changed your name, I mean?”

“In a word? Empowering.”

“Well, yes, but, I mean, was it… an adjustment? The change, after so many centuries?”

Crowley shrugged. “Wasn’t that big of a change, really, when you think about it. Just a vowel.” He blew out a sigh. “Buuut I guess it still took some getting used to, yeah. I think I introduced myself the wrong way a few times at first. Y’know, out of habit.”

The angel nodded.

“D’you want me to try calling you that? Zira? See how it feels to hear it from someone else?”

“I… Yes. I think that might be helpful, thank you.”

“No problem, Zira,” Crowley beamed.

The angel grimaced. “Oh. Hm.”

Crowley frowned. “Not good?”

“I… It’s just so unusual.”

“No more unusual than ‘Aziraphale’,” Crowley mused. “To humans, anyway. Probably _less_ unusual, actually. For them. Not for me. I think it’s–”

“Not the name itself, Crowley,” the angel snapped, “it’s the _hearing_ it. Especially from you. It’s… I’m not sure that I like it.”

Crowley walked over to the sofa and collapsed onto it. “Well, then, don’t use it,” he said simply. “What made you wanna change your name, anyway?”

The angel stood awkwardly in place for a moment, playing with his hands, before sighing and taking a seat in his chair across from Crowley. “Well, since I’ve started to use the word ‘agender’ to describe myself,” he said, “I thought perhaps it’d be more fitting to, ah, change certain things. I considered going by different pronouns, but none of them… _felt_ right. Which really doesn’t make any sense at all, since I’m, you know, genderless. The pronouns shouldn’t matter!”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Well, it’s strange, because I don’t think I’d care much if someone were to refer to me as ‘they’ or, or ‘she’, or ‘ze’, or–”

“I get the idea.”

“–But if I’m to be _introducing_ myself, then, well I, I can’t seem to bring myself to state my personal pronouns as anything other than ‘he’ and ‘him’.”

Crowley shrugged. “So your pronouns are he/him but you’ll accept others. Some people are more or less pronoun indifferent but still have preferences. S’nothing to have a crisis over.”

“Well, I’m not having a crisis over that anymore, I’m having a crisis over the name thing.”

“Right.”

“I do like the idea of having a, a gender neutral name.”

“…Sorry, is ‘Aziraphale’ not a gender neutral name?”

“I don’t know! I’m the only one who has it!”

“And you’re agender! Ergo, gender neutral name!”

The angel huffed and folded his arms over his chest.

“Hey, if you don’t like it, change it. But if you _do_ like it, then don’t change it just ‘cause you think it’s not fitting for an agender angel. It _literally_ is. It was _created_ for _you_ , _an agender angel_.” Crowley leaned back and sniffed, “‘Sides, _all_ names are gender neutral, as far as I’m concerned.”

The angel sounded distant as he sighed, “Zira is such a lovely-sounding name, though, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Crowley agreed. “So’s ‘Aziraphale’. Up to you, what you prefer.”

The angel was quiet for a moment, looking down at his lap. Then, “I don’t think I want to be ‘Zira’. Not officially, anyway. Not permanently.”

“A nickname, then? Break it out every once in a while, like a pair of shoes?”

“Well, that’d be more up to you than to me, I think. It’s not as though I’m going around saying my own name all the time.”

“You want me to call you that every once in a while? Just…,” Crowley gestured vaguely with both hands, “surprise you with it?”

“I… I’m not sure.”

“Does it… Do you think it’d feel better if you were presenting differently? You know, a different name for a different appearance?”

The angel looked up with a frown. “You think I should change my appearance?”

“No! No, I just meant, if you wanted to experiment, y’know. You could use ‘Zira’ as a… I dunno, as a name for playing dress-up.”

“Well I don’t know what I’d be changing… I suppose I could try a different set of clothes. Just, you know, temporarily. For an evening in.”

“Exactly! Just dressing up. Like you’re gonna go out somewhere, like a masquerade ball or something. Get to be someone else for a night.”

“I don’t want to be someone else, that’s the point of all this. I’m just trying to be more… _myself_.” The angel sighed. “Perhaps I should just forget the whole thing.”

Crowley frowned. “What thing?”

“Oh, exploring my gender. Or, you know, lack thereof.” He gave a small chuckle. “I suppose I am a bit old for that sort of thing, anyway.”

“No one’s too old for that sort of thing,” Crowley said automatically, then leaned forward where he sat. “I think you should go ahead and play with it, angel. Just don’t overthink it. You don’t have to change everything about yourself if you don’t want to. And you can, you can, you know, you can try stuff and then decide you don’t like it and move on. Like you did with the whole ‘Zira’ thing just now. If it doesn’t feel right, leave it. There’s no… I can’t believe I am explaining gender identity to a 6,000 year old being, but, apparently you need to hear it: There’s no right or wrong way to be genderless, angel.”

Aziraphale sat quietly for a moment. Then, he chuckled to himself. “I really have been overthinking it, haven’t I?”

“A bit.” Crowley leaned back again. “Easy to do. It’s a lot to think about.”

“Well, I think for now I’ll keep my name.” Aziraphale smiled, then began to blush. “Do you really think it’s lovely?”

Crowley blushed, too. “I mean, er, yeah. Always have,” he admitted, sounding a bit dazed. “Pretty name for a pretty…,” he blinked, then coughed, “er, pretty _irritating_ angel.”

“You can say you think I’m pretty, Crowley,” said Aziraphale, in the same teasing tone the demon had used on him just a few days prior. “I won’t tell.”

“Shut up.” Crowley crossed his arms over his chest and failed to hold back a smile.

Aziraphale beamed triumphantly. Crowley thought he was _pretty_. Oh, that felt quite nice. That word, specifically. He didn’t hear it applied to himself often. In fact, in that moment, he couldn’t recall _ever_ having been described as “pretty”.

But times were changing, weren’t they? A few days ago, Aziraphale had felt trapped by humanity’s perceptions of him. Now, he identified himself as agender, and apparently he was _pretty_. Aziraphale’s heart soared as he smiled. He felt free. Even freer than he’d felt that first blissful week after the averted apocalypse. And if the way the demon across from him was blushing was any indication, the future looked quite promising, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me a while, but I've grown to love the nickname "Zira" for our favorite genderless angel. I wanted to honor the name here but also show the struggle of being uncertain about a name change. Aziraphale might revisit this idea later in the series but at this point in his journey it was too soon (for him, _personally_ – no gender journeys are identical and if you wanna change your name the same day you come out to yourself then gO FOR IT, BABEY).
> 
> Also I know it was probably a bit obnoxious to just say "the angel" over and over, but I chose not to use Aziraphale's name until near the end. I wanted the fic to reflect how uncertain he was feeling, like he didn't know what to call himself at the time, like he was, I dunno, kinda lost in this whole search for himself. Only when he realizes he doesn't actually want to change his name does he begin to be referred to as Aziraphale.


End file.
